My Local Online Scammer is Actually a Plagiarist…

I was shocked to find a letter in my “junk” email folder. The letter was sent by “Princess Tina Yak” and the subject simply said “Beloved.”

My mind raced through every possibility to make sense of this random letter. I told myself with great confidence that I have never met anyone named “Princess,” Tina* or even Yak.

*This is not entirely true. I know a couple Tina’s, but I was positive this was neither of the Tina’s.

So, logically, I assumed that the message had to be porn related. Being the inquisitive little man I am, I opened the message to find out what was within.

Sadly, this was the contents of the mysterious letter:

This message looks suspicious...

It was 100% pure junk-mail.

This was not the first time I had received the old “send me money” email. In fact, it’s amazing that this scam is still around.

“I am a citizen of Sudan but currently staying in Burkina Faso…”

That’s all it should take for a semi-intelligent human-being to laugh and close their email account for the day.

You’d think that these scammers would deviate from the old, uninspiring and predictable path they’ve ventured down time after time.

Why wouldn’t they create a new character from another impoverished and struggling country? Take the time to make up a cute little character that tugs at the old heart-strings or provides a couple laughs.

It’s easy as one, two, three:

Greetings from afar,

My name is Hridayendra and I’m a real person, look me up on wikipedia. However, since May 28, 2008, I am considered to be nobody special. I was once the second in line to be heir of the former Himalayan Kingdom of Nepal.

My grandfather, the last king of our Hindu nation, dissolved the monarchy to allow democracy to flourish in our little nation.

Unfortunately, I lost something special during the transition of power to the state. My Himalayan kitten, Puuursia, was taken along with my family’s grand palace and Nepalese passports. The elected Maoist Party oppressors have claimed Puuursia as property of the state and she now is held captive in the Kathmandu dungeons beneath the grand palace.  

This is my cat Puuursia. I have not seen her since 2008. I love her very much. XOXO see you soon Puuursia.

I’ve cried every night in exile and I’m hoping that one day I’ll see my beloved kitty-cat again.

I know you Westerners get bizarre letters like this all the time but, as strange as it seems, this one is real. I need your help to get Puuursia back.

All I am asking is that you pay the $58.94 needed to get a traveller’s visa for my Indian passport to send me on my way to rescue my lovely Himalayan cat. 

I’d ask my parents for the money but they would never let me go in on this adventure. I may only be nine years old but I have the tenacity of the kings before me. The Maoists will pay dearly for what they’ve done. The gutters of Kathmandu will trickle crimson with the blood of those red bastards.

Please, Westerner, you’re my only hope.

Namaste,

Prince Hridayendra of Nepal

PS: You can easily send the $58.94 through PayPal

And that’s how you shake up a tired online scamming routine. If you give the reader something to enjoy, like adventure or comedy, they might throw you some coin.

Come on scammers, you’ve got to earn that money. Show us how much you want it…

One response to “My Local Online Scammer is Actually a Plagiarist…

  1. or… we could just take advantage of your “inquisitiveness” and keep on sending you that porn. Maybe adventure porn? Turn Prince Hridayendra’s journey into a sherpa powered ghurka smut-fest. My wallet strings are loosening already!

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